Everything's Changed But The Glasses

Shit, so you wanna hear my story, huh?

Well, get your ass ready cause once you hear it, you're not going to fucking believe it.

Just a month ago, I was a literal boomer in his mid sixties who was married to a hot MILF and was ready to enjoy the rest of his golden years like he fucking deserved.

That all changed when The Role Exchanger decided to fuck me over big time. 

In less than a single minute, The Role Exchanger changed me from top to bottom as if I were damn putty! From what I could find out after it happened, I swapped tits and sex with an OnlyFans baddie my son somehow knew about, ages with a hunky guy in his mid twenties who was a friend of my daughter, face and ass with another thicc MILF I knew from my last job, a literal tea addiction with my own milfy wife, and finally, both the fashion sense and the urge to swear and use vulgar language all the time with a goth chick 

If you wanted to know why a former daddy is now saying 'shit', 'fuck', and 'damn' all the time, then that's fucking why!

As you can probably imagine already, this quickly ended up causing quite the shitshow with my entire family. Not only did it become a damn mess whenever I caught my son ogling at my titties and ass or I told my daughter what a god-awful sense of fashion she had, but every time my own MILF of a wife tried to put me in my place, I always answered her back with a damn f-bomb!

Because of this, it didn't take a single week for them to decide that the best thing to do was for me to move to another place where I could 'truly' be myself without bothering them. 

So yeah.

Now I'm living here in my own place which is bullshit if you ask me, but at the very least, I can cuss whenever I want and decorate this place according to my own tastes - which are definitely way better than my daughter's. 

That's my fucking story.

Oh, and the glasses?

Well, despite all of the things it did to me, The Role Exchanger still decided to leave me with my shit eyesight. Take my eyeglasses away, and I become blind as fuck!

I would have imagined that The Role Exchanger was going to improve at least one thing about me, but it didn't even fucking do that!

But enough about that. I really need to drink another tea.

Should I go for the Oolong, Yerba Mate, or Rooibos tea?...

...

Please tell me you fucking know what kinds of teas I'm asking you about.