The Bearer Of The New Gods

"This is the most beautiful place I have seen in my entire life..." Amanda let out a breath, her face full of wonder as she looked with awe at the breathtaking views of yellow and green all around her. "You don't know how much I would give to stay here forever and never leave."

"That's indeed very unfortunate to hear..." Sinead noted as she raised her brow in interest. "But you know what? If you want to really enjoy the little time you have left here, then you should come with me to a hidden grotto in the woods behind my place. It's a twenty minute walk from here, but I'm sure you will love it once you finally see it."

"Really?! That would be absolutely amazing," Amanda responded as she checked her backpack. "Let me just go back to your place real fast to pick up my things and then we can go!"

"Please... take your time."

Amanda then sprinted towards the house where she had the luck to meet Sinead earlier today while she hiking in the area, but as she did so, Sinead then spoke softly in immaculate Irish as she gently placed her hands right on top of her exposed belly. "Tá am na nDéithe Nua ag druidim go gasta..."

Closing her eyes with glee as she leaned her fecund body against the wooden fence, Sinead was pleased to see that Amanda was none the wiser about her true intentions, for she was more than just a gorgeous Irish woman who happened to live in the sparsely populated countryside of Roscommon.

Sinead was a handcrafted vessel made to fulfill a higher purpose.

Just a few months ago, Sinead had in fact been Alexander, a man in his late twenties who, just like Amanda, had been hiking through the west of Ireland when out of sheer chance, he ended up stumbling into a small, seemingly unassuming grotto deep in the woods of this area.

Unbeknownst to him and everyone else, that seemingly unassuming grotto had been the location of a desperate ritual done by the last priests and priestesses of the Sean-Dhéithe, the Old Celtic Gods, in a hopeless attempt to obtain an upper hand against the ever-encroaching influence of Christianity.

The ritual unsurprisingly failed in achieving their objective, but the Old Gods did listen to their pleas.

They just did so in their own way.

The Old Gods reasoned that if this desperate ritual at the grotto was going to mark the end of the old beliefs, then that grotto was going to be the perfect place for the old beliefs to be reborn again with a vitality never seen before.

Thus, they infused the grotto with all of their divine aura and strength, enough to transform flesh, mind and bone into their perfect vessel: A man who by being stripped of his own manhood would become the most devout priestess of the Old Gods, blessed not only with all the knowledge and wisdom necessary to revive the old faith, but also with a fertile womb destined to bear the first of the Déithe Nua, the New Celtic Gods.

Of course, the Old Gods thought that it was not going to take much time for a man to stumble into that grotto, but lo and behold, it instead took almost two millennia for a man to finally walk into it.

A man who turned out to be Alexander.

Alexander then stepped into the grotto, where he was molded into something more female, more bewitching, and more devout until Sinead was the one who stepped out in his place, bearing a fiery mane that rivaled the sun, a grand bosom ready to feed and nurture, and a pair of strong, fertile hips destined to carry the future of the old faith.

But now that the Old Gods had done their part in creating Sinead, it was now time for Sinead to do hers as their new priestess, for if she had been blessed in order to bear the New Gods inside of her womb, it was now her turn to find someone who could be blessed in order to sire the New Gods with their seed.

And right now, that someone seemed to be Amanda herself, for just as manhood had to be lost in order to attain divine fertility, womanhood had to be lost in order to attain divine virility as well.

"Nuair a bheidh an deasghnáth críochnaithe, beidh mo bhroinn réidh chun do shíol naofa a ghlacadh..." Sinead finished muttering to herself just as Amanda finally returned with her backpack.

"Ready!" Amanda shouted with excitement as she tightly grabbed the strips of her backpack. "Lead the way!"

"Very well then," Sinead responded as she promptly began the trek towards the grotto and towards the fulfillment of her sacred duty. "Please, follow me..."

And as Sinead got closer and closer to her final destination, she began to carefully recite inside of her own head all of the long, devout prayers she had for the Old Gods, for soon enough, she was going to be blessed with the divine, virile seed of her new partner and become the Iompróir na nDéithe Nua, the Bearer of the New Gods.

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Happy St. Patrick's Day! This story is based on a caption by Dani G TG Captions titled Servant of the Old Gods, one of my favorite captions of all time, even from way before I began to write captions myself. They haven't released any new stories for almost three years already, but I really enjoyed their captions, specially the last ones they wrote.